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Posts Tagged ‘Perspective’

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10 years ago, around this same time, my girls were 10 and 8. My oldest would have been just getting ready to go into 6th grade and my younger into 3rd. I would have just finished up my first year of teaching 5/6th grade and (unknown to me at the time) one year away from teaching high school English lit. My girls were homeschooled. I was pursuing my SLP degree. My husband was AGR in the Air Force. Life wasn’t bad and there was so much on the horizon.

Since that day so many things have happened…. We transitioned the girls into public school. My younger into an arts charter (later a small IB middle school, and finally to Renaissance HS) My older daughter into Renaissance HS. They’ve had their ups and downs. Friend transitions, school transitions, leaving the church, hormonal years of Jr. High, the pressure years of high school. And they’ve turned out phenomenally. They are both kind, compassionate, thinking, caring girls who want to make the world a better place. They both have gone on to graduate high school with honors, obtaining their IB diplomas, and are excited about their future. I couldn’t be prouder of the people they have become.

Alongside the girls getting older, my husband and I have had our ups and downs. Just a few years into my 30s we hit a fork in the road, divorce felt like the only option, fear, anger, and uncertainty rested like a cloud over our marriage. And we didn’t let that stop us. With the help of phenomenal friends and a lot of hard work we learned a new dance; one that would honor both of us. We shuffled through what type of music we’d both like, stepped on each others toes, and prayed more than ever that God would make it work. Six years removed I can say that it was all worth it. I can’t imagine living life without Steven; he truly is my best friend, my place of comfort, and my love.

Reflection.jpgAnd I, I have changed… So many lessons have been learnedthrough the abundance of loving, caring friends over the years. I have learned how to trust, and to be trusted. I have learned how to have confidence in myself. I have learned how to standup, step out, and support those in dark places. I have learned that each person’s deepest hurt, is their deepest hurt (their deepest level of pain, is their deepest level of pain) no comparison is necessary. I have learned that God is so much more than I can ever comprehend. I have learned that God is always good, and he’s reflected in every good thing. I have learned that though things are imperfect, God is not, and he moves in and through the imperfect. I have learned that compassion is gained as you listen to the stories of others. I have learned that I don’t have to compromise my morality in order to have compassion for others. I have learned that the stories I make up in my head are often warped representations of reality. I have learned that my body will forever change, so I’d better learn to appreciate it like a loyal friend. I have learned that death is the win and life is a gift. I have learned that a smile, a text, an encouraging note can be life changing. I have learned the decisions that I think are life changing often are not and the decisions that I think are flippant are often the ones that change my life. I have learned that family is priceless, that friends are precious, and that community is essential. I have learned that my emotions are often not a representation of the current situation. I have learned that there are few things worth fighting for. I have learned that my mind, body, soul, and spirit are intertwined and each one needs to be cared for, nourished, and honored. I have learned that most things are not what they appear to be. I have learned that forgiveness is freedom. I have learned that connection and communication happens in vulnerability, truth, and love. I have learned that shame grows in the dark and dissipates in the light. I have learned that courage and fear are catalysts to faith and trust. I have learned not to be defined by my past. I have learned that I am worth more than I think I am. I have learned that I don’t know as much as I think I do. I have learned that I can learn from everyone and every situation. And I have learned that there is so much more for me to learn.

As I move forward into my 40s I hope and pray that I will remain open, soft, and sensitive to all of God’s nudges in my life. That I will see each person for who they are, where they are, and the purity of who they were created to be. And that I would walk to the rhythm of his heartbeat for me, growing in trust, courage, confidence, faith, hope, and love.

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babies_in_rowI believe that each person is born unique. – As a mother of two daughters, from the womb I knew that my girls were going to be different. My eldest craved veggies and let me sleep most nights; my younger one craved spicy food and chose 1:00am as the best time to jump rope with the umbilical cord. This personality difference followed them out of the womb and into their toddler years. My oldest loved to do flashcards – excited every time she got one right. My younger would try and eat the flashcards as she spied out the room for the next thing to climb on. (The scariest of which was when I found her hanging from the ceiling on the rail for the garage door.)

Today their both teenagers and though my youngest is no longer hanging from the ceiling and my oldest isn’t satisfied sitting in front of a pile of flashcards all day, the core of who they are is still very apparent. Things have matured, boundaries have been created, they’ve had to choose which character traits to soften and which to enhance. And yet still at the end of the day my youngest dreams of the next adventure she’ll get to go on and my oldest loves a great, thought provoking lesson. Created wonderfully unique.

Just like each one of us have opportunities to grow, mature, and learn, Paul is showing the Galatians that though he is still the same person, everything has changed.

Galatians 1.11-24

I love how this passaged is preceded with the statement, “If I were still trying to please man I would not be a servant of Christ.”

Paul had spent years with the passion and zeal he had had from the womb directed at all the wrong things. He had been focused on man’s gospel – on the Jewish law and traditions to save him. He was trying to follow each and every rule given (pleasing man), and demanding that everyone else do the same. Being so caught up in doing what was ‘right’ Paul was blinded by the fact that he was so very ‘wrong’.

I can imagine Paul as a youth. Questioning everything. Demanding the truth. Chastising anyone who thought differently than he did. Passionate, convicted, strong, focused. He had the determination, tenacity, and laser focus to not only get an A in the class, he would get 100%. It was that God-given passion that was exactly what was needed in order for Paul to be able to stand up against 2000 years of tradition. That very passion that could look the Pharisees in the eyes to say, “You are killing these people, and I’m not going to stand by and watch it happen!” The same passion that once set out to kill the church was now it’s strongest advocate.

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So if Paul didn’t change what did? His perspective.

I love the image of scales falling from Paul’s eyes when Ananias prayed for him. (Acts 9.9-19) It’s such a beautiful metaphor. Paul’s whole life was changed because his eyes were opened to the truth; a truth that gave him a 180° shift in his perspective. He was now able to channel all that passion and energy into bringing freedom to the very people he had once sought to enslave.

Looking back on my life, the things I’ve learned, the experiences that have changed and shaped me, I can see how each season of my life has shaped and changed the way I see things. My perspective at 35 is so very different than it was at 15 and will hopefully be very different than when I’m 55. This realization makes me ask myself several questions…

What are those things that I’m holding onto so tightly that in 20 years I’ll wish I’d released them? How does my perspective need to change in order to show me my blind spots? What parts of me am I fighting that God has actually created in me to be unique?

girl-with-arms-open-wide-to-the-skyTake some time this week to sit with your Creator and ask Him to show you how you were created unique. Looking back on your life, look at the patterns you may have had. Are you adventurous, studious, quiet, outspoken, artsy, nerdy, friendly… – Embrace who you are. Look at the beauty inside of you; acknowledge the fingerprints of your Daddy God that run through your DNA. Ask Him to show you areas in which you need a perspective change. What are areas in your life you need to release the very thing you’ve been enslaved to?

Rest in Him arms. Rest in His peace. Breathe in deep the air of His live-giving Spirit of freedom and grace. Let it flow over you as He whispers, “I love you my dear precious one.”

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